Friday the 13th

Boobs, Butt and Bush: The Friday the 13th Movies Ranked by Nudity

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You can find the Friday the 13th films on Blu Ray at Amazon or on digital HD at iTunes.


“Kill, kill, kill, kill. Die, die, die, die”

Everyone has their own opinion of which Friday the 13th film is their favourite and a quick search of google will find a plethora of web sites ranking them based on quality, gore or kills and their own predilection to the various states of Jason (hillbilly, zombie or mommy Jason). But none have gone so far yet to evaluate them based on one of the key ingredients of all self-respecting slasher movie – BOOBS, BUSH AND BUTT.

So here at GoreGeeks our resident gore hound and nudity connoisseur SlasherBob has trawled through every nook and cranny of the series to come up with a list ranking each entry based on how many times clothes are shed and inhibitions left in the woods. Each film gets 3 points for bush, 2 points for boobs and 1 point for butt (body parts must be completely exposed to count). Over to you Slash:

8th Place

Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

o Points

Aww man. This film puts me in a bit of a quandary as it is undoubtedly my favourite Friday the 13th film with its witty “post modern before post modern was trendy” script, and better than normal character depth and acting. But with nary a side boob or butt crack in sight it is easily the most disappointing entry in a franchise with such a rich history of pre-murder naturism. 

Other than the fully clothed and hilarious, humping in a camper van between Cort (Tom Fridley) and Nikki (Darcy DeMoss) seen in the video below, there is very little else for your self respecting 80’s teen male to pause their VHS tape and wax on, wax off to.

 

7th Place

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th Marcie Topless

2 Points

When I think back to watching the original Friday the 13th film as a horny twelve year old boy, I remember it being wall to wall with tits and fanny but repeat viewing shows a surprisingly restrained nudity level on show. Other than Kevin Bacon’s bare ass (which I’m sorry doesn’t count), there is very little skin on show with only one topless scene of note. We do get to see quite a few lingering shots of nipples through shirts but unfortunately that’s it for your horny pubescent teen. As the first in the series it is notable for setting the now slasher movie law of you have sex and you die, as poor Kevin finds out below. 

 

Joint 6th Place

Friday the 13th Part III 

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday the 13th Part 33 points

What a shit bag duo this is. Other than the atrocious part 5, these are easily the worst instalments in the entire series. Part 3 is basically part 2 after the writers and director (Steve Miner of Lake Placid fame) had shot their load on the previous instalment and part 8 gets bogged down trying to make a shambling Zombie Jason scary whilst juggling an inexplicable attempt to relocate to Vancouver and passing it off as Manhattan. To be honest there aren’t many redeeming features about either of these films other than the triangle their names make when put in order like above

In terms of nudity it’s equally disappointing. Both films have just the one boob flash and one butt flash each. But that’s it. No tent sex or side character full frontals to redeem what are otherwise disappointing entries in the series. 

 

5th Place

Jason Goes to Hell

Jason Goes to Hell

4 points

Still in the low scores here with 4 points on the SlasherBob Nudity Scale and still at the weaker end of the spectrum in terms of film quality. Whilst Jason Goes to Hell is an improvement over the previous 3 instalments in the series, it is still a poor film cobbled together whilst the long gestating Freddy vs Jason lingered in development hell. Again for all the nudity buffs out there it features just two scenes of topless fun but does include the woman cut in half whilst riding her boyfriend scene above. Nice.

 

4th Place

Friday the 13th Part II

Friday the 13th Part 2

6 points

For many this is the pinnacle of the series. Directed by a pre Lake Placid Steve Miner and bringing back 2 of the 3  writers from the first film (Victor Miller and Ron Kurz), this sets the template for future instalments with inventive kills, a decent level of nudity and a credible final girl – plus the indestructible and scary as fuck sack face Jason taking his bow.

In terms of nudity we get our first bush shot of the series (as well as boobs and ass) from Kristen Baker’s Terry, whose slow naked walk into the lake is a highlight of my early teenhood. Other than that there is very little outright skin on show, although the lack of bras and skimpy tee shirts of the female councillors is commendable (see below). 

 

Joint 3rd Place

Freddy Vs Jason

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

Friday the 13th Part VII: New Blood

Friday the 13th (2009 Remake)

Friday the 13th 2009

7 points

Part 5 and 7 are piles of steaming horse shit all round only barely redeemed by 3 sets of boobs and one butt shot on show during their 90 minutes run times. Part 5 is noteworthy for being the only film in the entire series where the final girls boobs are visible, even if they are only seen through a rain-soaked blouse. Neither of these films are worthy of lengthy discussion, so let’s move on to…

The 2009 remake and the long gestating Freddy vs Jason are a different proposition. Not only are these two films surprisingly good but the nudity score is starting to get seriously high with both films scoring an impressive 7 points. 

Each film has a triplet of bare nipple scenes and feature one butt flash each, which is not bad when you consider their roughly 90 minute run times – for you mathematicians out there that’s one skin scene every 22.5 minutes on average.

The reboot also includes the best full on pre-marital sex session of the series between the delightfully buxom Julianna Guill’s Bree and Travis Van Winkle’s wonderfully arrogant Trent, all while his erstwhile girlfriend listens outside the door. Brutal. Check out Guill’s sexy pre-sex dance below:

 

2nd Place

Jason X

Jasonn X

8 points

Whilst it is admirable that the producers wanted to break new ground with the Jason franchise by part 10 the lack of budget, poor script and terrible porn movie style acting made for a scare free B movie entry in the series that was neither as inventive as it could have been or particularly scary. Such a shame really because you can feel some good ideas and a genuine urge to change things  trying to break out from the mediocre final version of the film.

In its favour it does have a few decent gore scenes (hello frozen head smash) and a fair bit of skin on show giving it an 8 on the SlasherBob Nudity Scale. The standout moment amongst the 3 obligatory tit shots and 2 naked butt shots is the pair of hologram girls who inexplicably de-robe when confronted by the hulking, masked and machete wielding Jason. Their holographic brains obviously mistaking him for the local priest.

 

 

1st Place

Friday the 13th Part IV The Final Chapter

Friday the 13th Part 4

14 points

And the winner is… Part 4 of the long running franchise.

This film is the easy winner of this contest, scoring a mammoth 14 points and putting all the other films in the series to shame. It is a poster child for slasher movie nudity and worth watching for the skinny dipping scene alone where practically the entire cast de-robe. Highlights include topless twins, shower sex and the aforementioned naked swimming; not to mention Crispin Glover’s crazy dancing and a fat chick squeezing a banana. Check out the sex in the shower scene below:

Part IV  is also a solid entry in the series in terms of movie quality that overcomes the creakiness of the previous films template and tropes with decent scares, excellent work from Tom Savini and half decent acting (for the series). 

 

In Conclusion

Well there it is. Part 4 is the clear winner of the Friday the 13th Boobs, Butt and Bush award. We have tried to contact Jason to accept the award himself but have yet to receive a response. Although there is this strange chi chi chi ha ha ha sound coming from the next room. I’m going to leave you now and go check it out. I’ll be right back.

What do you think of the list? Sound off in the comments below.

 

 

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